Anger Management

In today's world, we have become a society of very angry people. We have been led to believe that backing down from a fight or insult makes them wimpy or even worse, a coward. Society has taught us to stand up for ourselves, to react when we are angry, and to get back at whoever made us angry in the first place. The concept of "letting it all out" as a way of living has created a society of people who need help by the use of anger management so that we can become the polite society we once were.

Indications of an angry person can vary from screaming, cursing, and physical confrontation to the repressed anger of resentment or depression. The first type of anger is very easy to recognize. If we see a person yelling at someone else, we know that the yeller is angry for some reason. Sometimes, the anger is valid, but it is still out of place. What does yelling ever solve? One good way to deflate an angry tone is to answer in a very quiet passionless voice. Remember, a kind word turns away wrath. This type of response may not work the first time but try the sweet, friendly voice until you get the reaction you want. Generally, the angry person will lower his voice, even if he is still angry. This is an almost automatic response to your friendliness. Then you can answer with an even softer and nicer tone. You get the idea. If you react to screaming with screaming, you will only escalate the problem. This is something you don't want to do. If simply reacting to anger with kindness stops the ticking bomb of anger, you are always better off.

As with the yeller, it is possible to lessen someone's cursing with using the same mild voice. Even if you don't feel the least bit apologetic and see no reason for an apology, you can still say that you are very sorry for offending the person who is cursing. Saying this in a sincere manner will take the angry person off guard. This person may even look at you as if you just came off the spaceship from Mars. Keep the same friendly, apologetic tone until the anger is over. At this time you should be able to resolve whatever the problem is, whether it's large or small.

If someone is so angry that he has resorted to violence, get away as soon as possible and call someone in authority. Kind words and a soothing voice will more than likely not work if an angry person has resorted to violence. If you can't get away, try to defuse the situation using the quiet, kind and very apologetic voice. Hopefully, if you have already used this method, most angry people won't stay so angry that they resort to violence.

Repressed anger can easily turn into depression. Many people feel that depression is anger turned inward. If you suffer from depression because of slights or hurts from the past or even the present, it is never too late to seek professional help in the form of talk therapy or antidepressants. Depression and resentment can ruin lives. Rarely can a person suffering from deep depression help himself. Once the depressed person realizes that he is helpless, he should immediately seek help. Recovering is a long process but definitely worth the work.

Anger is everywhere we look. It's on television, movies, in the supermarket, the doctor's office and even in church. No one wants to be around an angry person, yet sometimes that is difficult to accomplish. At some level we all just want to be loved. Learning how to cope with angry people might even help these people learn how to cope with anger and learn how their anger affects other people.

Copyright 2007 I. M. Serene - All Rights Reserved

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